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Saturday, January 28, 2006
LSS : Martin Nieverra's song that is being played at MRT-Ayala Station over and over (music video included). Its chorus goes "...we both know it's over now... we just don't know how to say goodbye..." Untitled8:20am during downtime at work "How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?," as the song Seasons of Love goes. Is it about the success and dreams he fulfiled? Is it about his friendship or relationship? Or is it about what's visible, tangible? (Uhm, I purposely didn't mention Kim's, my teammate, inquiry about the "size" of this certain teammate. And yes. She did ask that innocently. No pun intended. Since, I just posted it, now everyone knows. Haha!) For the past a year and a half (I think. I couldn't really calculate.), this ym status keeps on bugging me. A friend from my list had this beside his name : "No matter how hard you try." I think I responded to that status by changing mine to "don't generalize." You know if there's a conflict or tension between two men. It would really be very obvious. We were just casual with each other. Small talks here and little laughs there. But no "deep" conversations since we don't hang out in the same circle. We take some things differently. Hence, individuality. But we respect each's opinions. It was just unfortunate that I wasn't able to confirm it he is sickened by my presence. Or he could not stand my smell, my "talsik laway," or my mere blank stare. I mean everyone sets "rules" for himself. Nobody wants to be the underdog. Or if he is, still personal choices matter. I think his ym status pissed me a bit because I do not really like people being arrogant or dominating or something to that sort. I am not saying that my friend is. But not everything would fall as you want them to be. His statement was negative. It was belittling. It could mean a challenge to prove oneself. It could cause self-doubt that could later give a concrete meaning to what he just stated. When I hear people say that, bitterness, insecutiry, unhappiness and unfulfillment cross my mind. It seems that they are not content with their life so they go out to spread that feeling they have. They diss people. They pick on others whom they find living the life that they wanted for themselves. I am not mad about this friend. I just wanted him to avoid hasty generalization. One thing might work for him. But on me won't. We're are not mere quantities to be measured in the first place.
posted by Arn  at 10:27 AM
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Friday, January 27, 2006
Dinner PicturesAs promised, here are the pictures taken last Saturday, Jan. 22nd at Teriyaki Boy, Gateway Mall. Blogger was down yesterday. I should've posted these earlier. Anyway, for the caption just take the pointer over the picture. Btw, thanks to Goldi for sending my precious via email (again... I don't have techie stuff at home.)  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 I already have hard copies of these. JapeykKanina sa pantry habang nakapila akong naghihintay na makakuha ng tubig, isang lalaking mula sa smoking area ang dumating at binati ang kakilala nya sa ganitong paraan... Siya : Jesus! You're wearing green. Jesus Christ! Putek. Parang makatotohanan, noh? Pinoy na Pinoy? Ganire ba ang karaniwang reaskyon ng isang Pinoy? Halatang gaya lamang sa isang banyagang pelikula. Gustung-gusto ko kaninang batuhin ng baso ko yung nagsabi nun. Umagang-umaga, eh nakakabuset na pananalita pa ang nadinig ko. Buti hindi siya sinagot ng kausap nya na hindi Jesus ang pangalan nya. Identity CrisisFirst KFC had arroz caldo. Now, they are offering bento. What's next? Pizza? It's not all American afterall.
posted by Arn at 8:38 AM
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Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Ladies and Gentlemen, meet my Dad
I think I haven't posted anything yet about my dad. No, I am not really close to him when both of us were growing up. And I guess, I need not wait for father's day to post anything about him today. Read on. My dad was lucky. He's got two wives. I have no idea how it feels to have two women loving you. Loving in the sense that leaving would still be an option but there were documents and ceremonies that had taken place so the bind should be there eversince. Two wives which means to families. I come from the second. And both are legal. The first wife died before my mom fell in love with him. Two wives, two families, four offsprings each. Dead even, right? Hihi. Acccording to him, he was born underground because of the war that was happening that time. Okay. From this point onwards, I would be sharing some things which I remember my dad the best. ::: We've had generous amount of carabao's milk every morning. He tries to catch the peddler early morning for a bottle. ::: We learned to pet, aside for our dogs, pigs, doves, culls and goats. Okay, pigs first. I had my share bottle feeding our piglets when their mom got sick and leate on died. Every after school, I go staight to their pen to prepare them milk. Doves and culls were easy to look after since I just have throw them pellets every now and then. The goats I chose to feed using my hands. Sometimes, I went playful by making them mad and provoking them to chase me. ::: I also got inclined with gardening. Our house area was full of plants. ALmost everything available in the plains, we had. Fruit-bearing trees, vegetalbles, ornamentals, we had. Today, we maintained several which was planted by my dad. ::: I couldn't think about the worst disciplinary punishment he gave me. Usually, he hits me with a stick, a branch freshly torn from a gumamela plant or pulls my ear. ::: When I had chicken pox, he was the one who gave me this sponge bath wherein the towel would be soaked unto this basin with boiled medicinal seeds. When I had measles, he also took care of me and kept track of the hours for my medicine and squeezed out singkamas juice in my eyes to keep them from infection. ::: He tried his best to send all 8 of us in the best school in our community. ::: He was once a leader in our place. Not the chairman but the one who led a group for forming projects specifically those of the church. During his time, he headed the construction of the stage for the yearly cenculo and the altar in our chapel. ::: He was a bit alcoholic and was a chain smoker. ::: He didn't scold nor hit me when I went somewhere else during my birthday. I think it was 9th or 10th. I accompied my cousing to their farm. It was far from our house. Basically, there are two ways to get there. Those are by walking along the highway and taking the riverside way. We took the latter. My dad was furious because I went home past lunch time and went to the river. You know the proverb that a birthday celebrator is prone to accidents during his/her birthday. He mentioned that if it wasn't my bithday, I might be beaten up. ::: This part I think is the saddest whenever I think of him. I was in first year high school. It was December and the first day of my school's foundation day. The first part of the three-day occasion was family day. My dad, I think mom's also there, went. He stayed a bit til lunch time. I should be happy since some of my schoolmates' parents never made it. After lunch, I just stayed in my classroom. My dad looked for me. He was giving me his free meal. I told him that I'm done and I asked him that he could leave already since the proram has ended. I didn't mean anything by that. I am not that close to my dad that's why I told him that the day was already over. I think one of my classmates saw us and had that notion that I was a bit ashamed of my dad's presence. Honestly, I am, up to this point, not used to being taken cared of or being attended to because I've learned to be on my own. After my classmate told me that, I thought that probably, my dad felt that way. This part of my life was saddening. ::: More people are already telling me that I look like my dad. He was a better cook than my mom. He already mastered preparing balisungsong (cooked rice wrapped in banana leaves). Sometimes, he would roll a handful of fried rice and make it look like suman (rice-made delicacy/rice cake). Perhaps, the college degree I finished was somewhat linked to him. After my dad retired from the bank, he settled with animals and plants. I took Botany in college. Oh, by the way, he's been dead for a decade now. Today is actually his 10th year death anniversary. (A few years back, when my youngest brother was still in elementary, he had a conversation with our sister. He told her that he barely remember how my dad looks like. It saddened me. Also, I never had creepy moments uo to now.) Just sharing :p
posted by Arn at 12:43 PM
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Sunday, January 22, 2006
Iiyak na ba ako?Yan ang madalas kong biro sa mga barkada ko nung college pag pauwi na kami matapos naming magkita-kita sa isang okasyon o selebrasyon. Mag-aapat na taon na din kaming naka-graduate. Bihira na talaga ang mga pagkakataon na gumimik, mag-dinner o kaya tumambay man lamang sa bahay ng isa. Ang huli na yatang dinner na nakasama ko sila ay nung Oct ' 04 pa. Nagkikita-kita yung iba minsan para sa dinner o tulungan ng project pero di ako nakakasama kasi may pasok ako. Pero makalipas ang higit isang taon, nakapag-dinner ulit ako kasama sila. At kagabi yun sa mag Gateway. First time ko din nakapasok at nakalibot sa mall na ito. Na maski na halos araw-araw ko 'tong nadadaanan ay di sumagi sa isip kong pumasok dito. Alas 7 ang usapan. Kaya tinawagan ko ang nagplano ng lahat na si Kookai. Nagulat pa siya nung tumawag ako. Tinanong ko siya kung paalis na siya. Di pala nya alam na tuloy ang dinner ng araw na yun. Wala daw nagsabi sa kanya. Sinabi kong nag-text ako pero wala daw siya natanggap. Sinabi ko din na siya ang nagsabing iurong ng Sabado imbes na Lunes yun. Birthday din kasi ng tatay nya kahapon kaya nag-aasikaso din siya ng mga bisista. Titignan daw nya kung makakahabol siya at mag magda-drive para sa kanya ngunit sa kasamaang palad ay di na kami nakarinig pa ng anuman sa kanya kung susunod siya ng gabing iyon. Sa Red Crab ang orihinal na plano. Dapat sana'y libre din ito ni Kookai kasi kaka-birthday lang daw nya at babalik na ulit siya ng Tate. Lakad-lakad muna kami sa mall upang humanap ng kakainan. Di na din namin naisip na sa Red Crab na kumain. Dun na kami nagpa-reserve sa Teriyaki Boy. Pumayag din akong kumain dito kasi di ko pa nasubukan yun pagkain dito. In short, first time ulit. Medyo matagal kaming naghintay. Nalimutan kong sabihin kung sino ang mga dumating. Syempre, andun sina John, Joms, Margaux, AC, Chiela, Ronald at Regan. Wala lang kami kasi may mga di din nakapunta. DUmating si JC nung tapos na kaming kumain. Ang in-order ko dito sa yung seafood teppanyaki, bottomless sprite at gohan. Kala ko kung anong special meron yung gohan, eh plain rice/steamed rice lang pala. Medyo mahal para sa one cup kasi P23 'to. Yun, share-share kami kung may gustong tumikim nung in-order nung isa. Ay, oo nga pala. First time ko din gumamit ng chopsticks. Pero sandali lang kasi ang hirap ipitin ng hipon at pusit, eh. Tas mawawala ba ang picture taking? (Uhm, Goldi, may papa-send ako, please :) Konti lang naman, eh. Mga 17 lang na kuha.. hehe.. Salamat.) Nakauwi na ko ng bahay bandang 11pm na, eh. May pasok din kasi yung ibang nasa med school kinabukasan. Yung isa pa pala naming kasama, eh dito lang sa tapat ng bldg namin ang company. Di lang kami nagkikita kasi panggabi siya. Medyo elated pa din ako, eh. Ang bilis kasi tsaka sobrang katuwaan talaga. Halos ala-una na ko ng umaga nakatulog kasi nga gising na gising pa ko't natutuwa sa dinner namin. Yung picture, siguro next week. Makikisuyo pa ko sa teammate ko na pa-send sa email, eh. Pakiabangan na lang. Syempre ulit. Di ko tinigilan ang pangungulit sa kanila hanggang makauwi. Patuloy ko silang sinasabihan na huwag iiyak dahil baka matagalan na naman ang pagkikita namin gawa ng kanya-kanya naming mga gawain. Say My NameEto ay isang kaganapan nung nakalipas na gabi sa loob ng fx habang hinihintay na mapuno ito ng pasahero. Katahimikan. Antok ang lahat. Ang radyo ay nakabukas sa himpilang yes fm. Isang promo sa radyo ang nadinig... DJ ng istasyon : (sa tinig na animo'y nanghihipnotismo) Sabay-sabay po nating ulitin ang mga katagang... yes fm... yes fm.. yes fm... Katabi kong babae sa kanan : yes fm... yes fm.. Ako : Huh?! Matapos pumikit na lamang ako kesa tumawa at nagkunwaring walang nadinig. I like new thingsAfter months of thinking, I finally settled with a new stand fan. I asked my sister to buy one for their room since the one that they have is already busted. I gave her some cash and bought it along with my nephew. She came home with a nice, white stand fan, which I hope would bring us no trouble and a chopping board. Chopping board? Yep. My mom has been requesting me to get a new one, too. Hmm, I wonder what's next. Hmm... MushyI almost forgot to ask my friends to sign my little poetry book turned into a message book during our dinner. That book I got for my birthday lst 2001. I thought it would be an interesting read but it was otherwise. Instead of pissing myself for a wrong purchase, I made it into a message book. It looks like a compiled greeting card thoughts. The poetry and background design of some poetry has that Hallmark card feel. So, why not turn it into a real greeting card? Some of my friends already signed and messaged me there. Why do I do this? Just refer to this post. (re: ...I was also planning to bring my small poem book which I turned to a message book. The poems in this collection sound like those of a greeting card hellos. To give it a purpose, I advise my close friend to pick a page from that book and right write something... basahin nyo na lang ang karugtong) I want to flood that book with tons of good memories. Yet I was the one who always bugs them that they're missing half of their life by not joining each and every trip/gathering that we have. Plus the joke about crying themselves to sleep whenever they miss the company and college life. And whenever we had great angles, I asked them for pictures. Writings and pictures, I could never resist. UlatNews has it that Pacman already won over El Terible. Can't wait to watch the fight when I get home. Uhm, shall I buy his music record now? *singing* para sa'yo ang laban na 'to...
posted by Arn at 9:31 AM
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Saturday, January 21, 2006
Anong Meron Ang Taong Happy?Siguro napanood nyo na ang commercial nito sa tv,noh? Yung tungkol sa vitamins na sina Michael V, cesar Montano, Winnie Cordero at Pia Guanio ang endorsers. Yung simula ng commercial ay magte-text ka kung ano sa 2 choices ang meron sa taong happy. Nalimutan ko ang isa sa mga choices pero ang tamang sagot nga doon ay yung "energy." Akala ko noon ay happy meal commercial ito hanggang napanood ko nga ang full length ad nito sa tv. Teka. Ano nga ba meron ang taong happy? (Pag binigkas mo yung tanong, masaya ang dating nya pero mapapag-isip ka pa din.) Sa tono ba ng pananalita (pagsusulat) ko eh mukha akong masaya? Siguro. Kasi baka mamaya nagsasaya-sayahan lang o pinipilit maging masaya o kung anuman. Pero sa tingin ko sa sarili ko masaya naman ako. Happy, ika nga. Isang araw, isang pasada lang. Minsan nagpaplano pero mas mainam at mas ganado ako sa isa-isang araw lang ang dating. Yung tipong kung ano ang dumating o mangyari ay dun sa pagkakataon mo na lang na yon haharapin. Masyadong nakakatanda ata ang isip ng isip sa hinaharap. Di ko pinagarap ang maging psychic. Pero iba na rin naman ang may pinaplano para mapaghandaan ang panahon na hindi na tayo kasimbata ng kahapon. Hmm, kasimbata. Malaking balakid pa ba ang edad sa iba (o lahat) ng bagay? Maaari. Maraming katangian sa bata ang wala sa medyo di na kabataan. Gayun din naman ang nasa may edad na sa mga bata pa lamang. Sino ba naman ang ayaw na manatiling bata, malakas, masigla, atbp? Lahat naman siguro ay gustong manatili sa estadong nasa rurok ng kanyang pangarap at tagumpay. Lumiliko na ata ang sinasabi ko, a. *kamot ulo sabay ngiti* sakit kasi ng braso ko. Nawawala konsentrasyon ko. Okay *aura power* Taong happy - Siguro taong masaya sa ginagawa nya sa buhay nya. Hindi partikular na pinagkakakitaan nya ng malaki, pinaglilibangan nya o pinaggugugulan nya ng panahon at pagmamahal nya kundi ginagawa nya ang bagay na alam nya, eh hindi lamang siya ang makakasubi ng magandang resulta kundi pati na rin ang ibang taong nasa paligid nya. Ngunit pa'no nga ba maging masaya sa kabila ng lahat ng mga bagay na hindi mo man gustong pagdaanan, danasin at paboran ay kailangan dala ng pagkakataon at kung minsa'y awa di lamang sa iyong sarili kundi pati na rin sa mga taong gusto mong ilayo sa anumang maaaring makasakit sa kanila? Saan nga bang lugar sa Pinas nakadarama ng ibayong kasiyahan/kaligayahan (wholesome, a)? Kung dama man ito ngayon ay sa anong paraan mo ito mapapanatili? Maaring bagay, pangyayari sa buhay o isang tao ang nagbubunga satin ng ganitong pakiramdam. Ang pakiramdam na ito siguro ang pinakamaganda, pinakamahirap at pinakalibreng damdamin sa lahat. Bakit kanyo? Eh, di ba pag masaya ang isang tao, maganda at maaliwalas ang mukha nya. Hindi lang sa labi siya merong mga ngiti kundi pati na sa kanyang puso. Kumbaga naipapasa nya ang ganitong pakiramdam sa mga nakapaligid sa kanya. Pinakamahirap din namang makamit ang personal na kaligayahan at ang pagiging masaya sa katayuan ng iba. May halong pride o inggit na malamang itong kasama. Mahirap maging masaya at tanggapin kung anuman ang katayuang mo ngayon na hindi mo trip o gusto. Mahirap din na lunukin ang kasiyahang inaasahan mo ay para sa iyo ngunit napunta sa iba dahil sa kung kaninong gawa. Mahirap maging masaya para sa sarili at sa kapwa kung di pa kuntento sa meron ka. Libre ang maging masaya. May pumigil man sa isang tao sa kaligayahan nito, tiyak na may paraang mahahanap para lamang pagaangin ang sarili, itaas ang sarili. Kung anuman ang sisira sa araw natin, may isang punto pa din sa dalawampu't apat na oras nito ang magsisilbing pampangiti satin. Libre ang maging masaya gaya ng pangangarap. Di ba't isa ang pangangarap natin ang nagbibigay satin ng kahit na sandaling kasiyahan? Mabalik tayo sa una kong mga tanong [re: Ngunit pa'no nga ba maging masaya sa kabila ng lahat ng mga bagay na hindi mo man gustong pagdaanan, danasin at paboran ay kailangan dala ng pagkakataon at kung minsa'y awa di lamang sa iyong sarili kundi pati na rin sa mga taong gusto mong ilayo sa anumang maaaring makasakit sa kanila? Saan nga bang lugar sa Pinas nakadarama ng ibayong kasiyahan/kaligayahan (wholesome, a)? Kung dama man ito ngayon ay sa ano at paanong paraan mo ito mapapanatili?]. Ayan. Kahit na magsabi ako dito ng anumang mga detalye ay malamang na nadinig o nabasa nyo na ito kung saan. Kaya ang ilalagay ko na lamang dito ay kung paano ko pinapaligaya (uulitin ko, wholesome!!!) ang aking sarili. Maaaring di ito aangkop sa inyong panlasa o pagtingin sa sarili nyong buhay ngunit sabi na nila, kanya-kanya lang yan at desisyon ng isang tao kung ilulugmok nya ang kanyang sarili sa kalungkutan o sisikapin nyang harapin ng may ngiti ang bawat araw ng buhay. Hindi na ko magbibilang. Basahin na lamang at baka mapagtanto na pareho din pala tayo ng istilo. Sinisimulan ko ang araw ng may ngiti agad. Literal na ngiti. Dahil binabati ko ang sarili ko sa harap ng salamin o sa harap ng pinto ng cabinet na kita ang repleksyon ng aking mukha. Kinukundisyon ko na ang aking sarili sa ganitong paraan na gawing madali ang buong araw. Kung minsan nama'y kahit anong paglilibang ang gawin ko'y inis pa din ang mas nangingibabaw. Kapag hindi ko nagawa ang lahat ng gusto kong gawin, pag hindi ang pinakamalupit o pinakamaganda ang nakuha ko, pag di natuloy ang balak ko at iba pang pwedeng maging sanhi ng dismaya. Pero kung iisipin ko din naman, na kahit di pinakamaganda ang nakuha ko, malamang na maganda pa din ang napasaakin. Yun nga lang, hindi ang pinaka. Ngunit maganda pa rin. Yun bang sapat lang talaga sa dapat. Dun naman sa mga nakaka-bad trip o nakakapag pagting ng tenga na mga tsismis, pamimintang, duda, pangungutya, pintas at panunukso. Pasok sa isang tenga at labas dapat sa kabila. Ang mga taong walang malamang gawin kundi ang tignan at panoorin ang nasa paligid nila ay di binibigyan ng panahon. Hahaba na ang pasensya mo, mapapagod pa sila kakainsulto sa'yo. Minsan din isang kanta, isang sandali ng pagpapakabusog o food trip o kaya'y isang tawag o text lang sa kaibigan ay iba na ang dating. O di kaya'y ang paggawa ng bagay na di mo kadalasan ginagawa o hindi mo madalas gawin. Gaya ng pagtulong sa pagbuhat ng gamit ng isang pasahero ng bus o pag-alalay sa bata o matandang tumatawid sa kalye. Mga simpleng bagay na hindi ganun kasimple ang balik sa'yo. Kung saang lugar nandun ang kasiyahan? Hmm, maski kasi minsan sa sarili nating tahanan o sa pinakapribadong parte man nito na ang ating mga kwarto ay hindi natin mahahanap ito. May mga pagkakataon ng di pagkakasunduan, pagtatalo, pagpapaalaala sa isang tao ng mga bagay na nasa loob ng lugar mo. Ang kaligayahan ay nasa puso mo (Naks! Cheezy with the letter z as in zed.). Pero tunay naman, di ba? Kung bukas ang puso ng tao para tanggapin ang mga bagay na maaaring humamon sa tibay nya, eh hindi ang pagsuko at kabiguan ang maiisip niya. Bagkus isang solusyon o mabilis na aksyon para remedyuhan, pigilan, ayusin ang kung anuman. Sanhi din naman ng pagkakasakit sa puso ang masyadong maraming pag-iimbot at karamutan na magpasaya ng sarili at kapwa. Dapat cool lang, di ba? Siguro ang pinakamahirap sa lahat ang mapanatili ang pagiging masaya. Kahit anong bagay naman yata mahirap panatilihin sa parehong kalagayan. Darating at darating din talaga ang araw na sobrang lungkot, sobrang saya o katamtaman lamang yan. Siguro isipin na lamang na parte talaga ng buhay ang taas-babang ikot nito (Pasensya. Di ito ang soap operang "Gulong ng Palad".). Nakakahilo, nakakaduling, nakakasuka. Parte ng sistema. Sistema na may kasama ding pagsasaya, katuwaan, atbp. Sino ba naman ang gustong mamuhay ng pulos lungkot, di ba? Kung puro saya malamang sa panaginip o istorya sa pelikula yan. Parang nung nasulat ko 'to imbes na maging happy ako, eh napakunot ang noo ko sa pag-iisip. wala na. Madudulain ang batang ire. Pambasag lamang sa pagiging seryoso. Eto ang isa sa mga bagay na meron sa isang taong happy na gaya ko...  Ang post-Christmas gift ko sa sarili ko ;P Sa ilang minutong pagkukuli, napagdesisyunan ko nang ito kaysa sa high cut ang bilin ko. Maayos naman siya. Medyo malaki lang sa paa ko kasi ang sikip nung size na sakto lang sakin. At tila napagod ko din yung salesman at saleslady sa pagpili ko dahil 3 beses ata sila nagpari't parito kakatingin ng size at style. Tip nila sakin na ang gamitin ko daw panlinis ay toothpaste na white at toothbrush. Wag ko din daw ibibilad sa araw para wag manilaw. Hmm, tip na din yan sa inyong may sapatos na puti na yari sa tela/canvas. At may kaparehas yang sapatos, a. May kanan yan ^_^ ** Nga pala, kundi nyo pa napanood yung commercial, abang-abangan nyo na lang kasi nakaka-engganyong panoodin. ** Tsk. May isa pa kong gustong low cut na sapatos kaso ang presyo pam-basketball na sapatos na. Tsk. ** May salu-salo kami mamayang mga barkada ko nung college :D :) :')
posted by Arn at 11:25 AM
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Thursday, January 19, 2006
Pasobra ::: Tumugtog nga pala ang Kamikaze dun sa battle of the bands nung Linggo. Nadinig ko na din naman ang musika nila at nakita ang ilang video. Sila pala ang bandang nakakuha ng best live act award ng NU. ::: Di ko matiis ang bagoong balayan. Pinalampas ko ang tindero ng chicharon sa bus kasi nililimitahan ko talagang kumain ng pagkaing matataba. Kaso pagbaba ko dito at pagpasok sa daraanan ko, bumalik pa ko sa tindahan para lamang bumili ng chicharon. Ayun, kadarating ko lang ng bahay ng biglang nag-brownout. Yung mismong oras na kakahingi ko pa lang ng susi ng kwarto sa mang kuya ko biglang sinukluban na ng kadiliman ang buong paligid. Kinain ko tuloy ang chicharon habang isinasawsaw ito sa bagoong balayan at suka sa ilaw ng isang kandila. Romantiko. Bagoong, suka, chicharon, kandila na nakapatong sa improvised kong placemat na dyaryo para di pumatak sa semento. Dinig na dinig mo tuloy ang lagutok ng chicharon sa bawat kagat. Romantiko. Habang ako'y nakasalampak at nanginginain, sinabihan naman ako na may spaghetti-ng dala ang aking apo. Opo. Ako'y bata pa ngunit meron na akong apo... sa pamangkin nga lang. Bale yung anak ng pinsan ko, ang aking pamangkin, ay may anak na, at iyon ang aking apong si Nino. Pagkatapos lantakan ang matabang pagkain, baling naman ako sa istapegi. Hmm, sarap. Mahigit isang oras din yatang walang ilaw samin. Pagkabukas ng ilaw ay nagtimpla ako ng green tea. O, baka nagtataka ka kung pano ko nakagawa ng sarili kong green tea. Meron nang pinulbos, ay panget pakinggan. Parang lasang alikabok. Meron nang powdered green tea ang Nestea. Kaya takbo na sa inyong pinakamalapit na pamilihan kung kayo'y nagsisikap makamit ang tinagurian nilang "healthy living." Maya-maya pa'y ang nanay ko naman ang dumating. Lagi namang galing yun sa mang lola ko. Pero ngayon, mas madami siyang uwing pagkain. Anibersaryo sa kasal kasi ng isa sa mga tito ko. Busog na din ako sa mga nakain ko. Pero kumain pa din ako. Yung hipon na pinirito ang kinain ko. Teka. Hinalabos ata ang tamang termino doon. Basta yun yung mamula-mulang hipon at walang sabaw. Eh, ano pa nga ba ang sawsawan ko kundi ang bagoong balayan. Nakakarindi nang paulit-ulit na basahin at tipahin pero yun talaga ang tawag sa kanya, eh. Gusto kong ispesipikado, eh. Matagal mang matanggal sa kamay ang amoy ay balewala sa akin. Di naman ako bubusugin ng amoy. At nasa bahay namana ko. Nakatulog ako ng busog. At awa naman ng Diyos ay di ako binangungot. Nga pala, bagoong ang bansag sa pamilya namin. Basta pag nadinig samin yung apelido namin, bagoong agad ang unang pumapasok sa isip. Gaya lang din ng ibang pamilya na may kani-kanyang bansag. ::: May iba sana kong post karugtong nito. Kaso nabwiset ako ng kausap kong Asian (ayoko nang banggitin pa ang nasyunalidad at baka masabihan akong prejudice) sa telepono
posted by Arn at 1:59 PM
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Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Add To Shopping BasketSpending each Monday in the supermarket never bored me. I actually like browsing through the shelves for new finds. And guess what I picked on the last time I dropped by there. 1.) apple ketchup. If tomato catsup has lycopene and banana ketchup has Vit. A, this is proud to have flavonoids. Wait a minute? Does the spelling of catsup or ketchup..er, catsup.. uhm, ketchup gives extra to its taste? Just wondering. Hmm... 2.) Bagoong Balayan (Anchovy Sauce). Heavy, pare. I baptized my fried tilapia with this combined with vinegar. I miss using this as my dip to fried dishes. 3.) Hotdog-flavored cheese which I regret buying. This tastes weird. Another weird thing which I decided not to buy--- milk-flavored crackers. When I checked the nutritional value at the back of its pack, it has 0% calcium. What the?! Where's the milk? Isn't calcium present in milk? Nay. Weird things in artificially-flavored consumables. But Sunflowers' blueberry-filled crackers taste goooood. I was just surprised that it took me less than an hour to shop. Probably because I haven't taken a bath yet then and I was itching my way to the shower. Haha! Seriously, i am reconditioning myself to buy the things that are more essential for everyday living. ** The post prior to this one was finished last Sunday, jan. 15th. So, you might confuse the day it was published from that of the event that I was suppose to catch ** Still Thinking, the band who represented our company, didn't disappoint based on their performance last Sunday. I wasn't able to predict what music they're going to play that afternoon. They entered the finals though, which btw would be held come Feb. 5th. What about the other bands who were part of the contest? Panis. Next
Me and my college buddies were suppose to meet up for dinner last MOnday, Jan. 16th. Everything was all set. We should be at least 10 before one backed out after the other. I couldn't blame them. Most are finishingtheor medical degree. That means most of them are in duty that day/night. If we went on with the plan, it would only be a dinner for four. Via sms, we communicated. Then, someone suggested to move the plan to Saturday, Jan. 21st. Yes, we agreed. But if this doesn't go through again, I'm gonna kill them. I'd make them their own cadavers. Haha! Kiddin'. I am hoping for that dinner. Three days to go... yippeee! I was all conditioned to be early to surprise them and have a chat with them before dinner. I was also planning to bring my small poem book which I turned to a message book. The poems in this collection sound like those of a greeting card hellos. To give it a purpose, I advise my close friend to pick a page from that book and right something they want to say about that night. (I really dig looking at the penmanship of my friends. Before they leave this oh, so beautiful creation, I must've a piece of them. Sort of like a remembrance. So, once they're lost, I could cry on something. Morbid. I think this is my lamest excuse. No kidding. I want to have at least one handwritten note from them.) The last time we met up I think was October 2004. It was also a dinner at Gerry's Morato. Of course, my friends staying in Manila I know have their own bonding since they reside in same areas. I'm sure their missing the ones in the provinces big time. Hihi! Actually, that message book I have has a positive impact in me. Browsing thru old letters, even text messages, give me more than a big smile could give a depressed person who is longing for a friend to talk to. Ok, let's remove that drama. I really like it when my friends share to me how they see me. If only I could be in their position for just a moment, I would like to see how my friends look at me. I want to know how lazy or stupid or caring or frustrated or insecure or cheerful or.or..or.. just add on to this or. That would also give me an assestment to myself in dealing with people who are capable of feeling. Of course, I know I am used to myself already. Just like how one's nose is used to the organ just right below it, the mouth. or your nose on the scent of your cologne. You wouldn't already notice the smell once you're wearing it. *sighs* I just finished my self evaluation form. I would not run thru the details any further. This is really required to certain employees in the company. I must be used to it since I've been evaluating myself for more than thrice already, I guess. But not. I am still searching for the right words for me. Admit it. You, too, would find it hard to rate yourself. I have to write down three strengths and another three things I need to work on. Now that's six adjectives or specific words to fill my paper. Actually, this makes me smile for coming up with words that I think would suit me. Not just a friendster description. This is about my job performance as I feel it. Could it be any harder? (Hmm, sounds like a song.) Anyway, I'm about to pass it now. And, oh! I am not interested in seeing myself in someone else's magic mirror. I'm find with my curiosity on me being my friends' friend.
posted by Arn at 11:53 AM
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Friday, January 13, 2006
Random Thoughts XXVMusic : Hold Your Head Up High - The Speaks Feat Barbie Almalbis (Thanks to Candy for the title and singer/s of this song. For three consecutive days, this song has been played on the bus's stereo while I was on my way home. I knew it was sung by a Filipino and guessed that the feamle vocals was done by Barbie A.) :::  I'm thinking of replacing my phone. Sinabi ko pa naman dati na ok na ko sa model ng telepono ko. Parang gusto ko na ngayon nung di-fold. Yung parang sa pinsan kong si Zendy at sa teammate kong si Candy. Parang ang sleek kasi. Pero hindi. Mas may importante pa kong paglalaanan ng ipon :D. Hihintayin ko na lang na maging sobrang mura ng phone na yun kung sakali. ::: I was a bit mean to a young girl the other day. I was not in a good mood ending my shift. I've had bad calls that day. When I was about to use the underpass, a beggar, a young girl whom I think is about 10 years old, asked for alms. I already conditioned myself not to give into their sad faces since the spot where she was standing was the same place where those mother-and-child-tandem-who-couldn't-go-home-because-they-have-no-money syndicate usually stand. I told the young beggar that I have no coins. She followed me then held my left wrist. I got pissed and said to her, "Huwag mo nga akong hawakan." Then, she released my hand. She turned to the other man behind me. Also, on the stairs down the underpass was another young beggar asking for some spare coins. Hmm, then I knew that it was a tactic to place those kids in these areas. I was actually looking for an elder who might be watching these kids as they act for mercy. I was a bit mean. But I do not like people, especially those I do not know, touching me. I think I've already lost my mahabaging puso to these scenes. I do not believe in beggars anymore. ::: The bus I rode today looks good. I think it was new since the seats still have covers and the curtains look new. It has nice seats and clean floor. Also, the automatic door was working well. ::: I was thinking about this two sons which was played inside the bus on my way to work. The first song goes, "kiss me on a monday...monday...monday.. Kiss me on tuesday... tuesday.. tuesday..." And the other song, which is in Tagalog, goes, "... mahal, bakit ka inumaga ng uwi kagabi?/ kutob ko'y meron ka nang iba/ dahil noon ay ganyan ka..." The lyrics, perhaps just the melody, were funny especially the latter. I also thought about these songs of done in a soul or rnb way. Or if the latter was translated in English... literally. If I'm going to choose between the two for my LSS, it has to be the former. It's not melodramatic. ::: I'm thinking of buying Joss Stone's The Soul Session album and My Chemical Romance's, uhm, what's the title of their album again, huh,candy and Jen? :teehee: ::: When things go my way, our planned dinner would push through on Monday. I would be meeting my college buddies whom I haven't seen for a looooong time. It was a bit planned and spontaneous actually. It all started with a text message from Kookai. She asked me if there are any plans to meet up. I told her that according to John, there was suppose to be a night out last December. It didn't happen so they plan to meet up early this year. Kookai mentioned that she'd leaving again for the US. So, I immediately texted John that we needed to fix our schedules before Kookai leaves. Plus, Kookai said she might treat us dinner. Her birthday was yesterday. Because of that, let me greet Kookai (Jan.14), Roselyn (Jan. 15) a happy, happy birthday. Also, welcome to the family, Lindsay, my newest cousin.   Uhm, I think I would be abusing my phone again for taking as much pictures as it could. So, Goldi, please be notified that I might ask another favor to you. You know, from my phone to yours to your pc kind of favor. Hehe. Just tell me when I'm already abusing your kindness. Isang batok lang ang katapat ko. Haha! Thanks. ::: Read my post particularly the poem? I already know That Was You In Reggae.   Kaso ang sama pa neto, nakasalubong ko pa sila sa mall habang nakaakbay sa kanya yung syota nya.   ::: I hope to catch the band representing our company later today at Glorietta. I don't know anybody from them but I would like to listen to their sound.    I also hope they win the competition.   ::: I lounged at our smoking area that's why I noticed the creek and the bikes. Staying there gave me that smirk looking at the people smoking on the opposite side of the building. There are smoking areas in each floor at each side of the building. If you are a group, you may smoke and chat at the same while utilizing your free time. If you're alone, you might find yourself turning your back from the other person who's also there busy puffing. Some are leaning on the wall overlooking the city. I just find it a bit funny when people are somewhat enclosed in an area (the smoking area is like a few meters wide, then there are walls at you side and back and a door on the next) doing something, not minding the ones around them. Like me and my cigar only...no more, no less... please do not disturb. ::: thanks to Cy for this nice website. From blogging hopping, I found this interesting blog which you might want to read also. ::: hearthrobs make good heartbreakers. They also give one hell of a heartache. Good thing I'm just ordinary ;)
posted by Arn at 12:44 PM
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Saturday, January 07, 2006
Smile As I was brushing my teeth a few minutes ago, I was thinking how Americans in movies or tv brush their teeth. They do not have toothpaste suds coming out of their mouths. They do not mess. After brushing, I wiped my toothbrush with tissue paper. Then, it suddenly broke. It broke. I started thinking of what to do with it. Putting it back inside my small bag crossed my mind. But what the hell? Not for any value or anything. I just thought of not throwing it in that instant. But I still threw it after a couple of secs. Time to get new one.
posted by Arn at 3:40 PM
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Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Poetry Sampler# 2
Halika Na
(A. C. Cons, 01.02.06, 6:19pm)
Pagtugtog pa lamang ng banda
Lapitan na lahat at nagsama-sama
Sa gitna ng umpuka'y akin na lamang namasdan
Isang mukhang Kubli ng kadiliman
Sa Saliw ng malambing na musika
Pagpadyak ng paa'y hatid sa'yo na pala
Kaya naman mas mainam ko nang natitigan
Ang iyong kabuuan mula sa kinatatayuan
Halika na at sabayan aking himig
Pagsayaw mo ako'y napakagat sa bibig
Halika na at ikumpas ang kamay
Laglag-panga sa kembot mong humahalukay
Halina't buuin ang aking gabi
Limutin natin ating mga katabi
Halika na, halika na.
Ang indayog ng iyong baywang
At galaw ng iyong mga paa
Gusto kong sundan ng pag-ikot at tawa
Lumalalim ang gabi
Ngunit ako'y ginigising ng iyong mga ngiti
Pag-ikot ng ilaw at pagtama sa'yo nito
Sapul naman bawat sandali sa puso ko
O, kay sarap mong masdan
Habang ikaw ay sumasayaw, gumagalaw sa may unahan
Halika na
Ikembot ang baywang, igiling ang katawan
Habang kasabay ang ulo't balikat naman
Halika na
Abutin na aking mga kamay
Sige na
Gawin ang nais bago tayo mangalay
Halika, halika** inspired by That Was You in Reggae. Company's Ska/reggae themed Christmas Party held at The Makati Shangri-La last Dec 19th, 2004. I went to the front with my former teammate, Zig, to watch the band. Many were grooving to the music. Then, I glanced at That Was You In Reggae, who was dancing with her friend. Once glance led to checking her out. Instead of bugging myself with my poor, sick (?) teammates, I just played the dreamsounds 3 cd that was given to me. The music was soothing. And I was able to think about things. It was more than a year already but That Was You In Reggae still lingers in my mind once in awhile. I also dig Brownman Revivals' music today. This poem has that reggae feel if I could only fit some music in it. Holiday Fever
It was weird. Everyone was getting sick. Must've been the season. But wait. It ain't that cold. Not chilling either. People extending hours at work (Hurray! to the duffle bag performance of Kim), committing themselves to make up for the shortcomings (huh?! :rolleyes:) of others. Okay. If it's really sickness, I've got some advice. Please change your bed sheets and pillow cases. or if you are having severe back pains, dispose your old bed and get a new one. Dizziness? Probably, disinfect and sanitize your bedroom. Must've been that irritating/umpleasant smell pressing your lungs. (Please play BEP's "Don't Lie" song while doing your chores. Please.) Damn. I was planning to go home early to catch my sister before she leaves to Manila. I was suppose to give her chocolates. But I had to extend a minimum of 3 hours on work for coverage. I couldn't complain because I wanted to minimize abandoned duties. My sister left around 6pm. I arrived home at 9:30pm. I bet. This holiday fever would strike back and let it's venom flow on these people this coming Holy Week. It would still be a couple of months from now. But still, I already smell their urgency/itch to be away from the office. Hope these people had a very, very nice celebration of the holidays. This is a brand new year. Please do yourself a favor. Make some changes. Prevention is better than cure, you know. Boo! Style nyo bulok! (Sa panahon ngayon BAWAL magkasakit. Tsk.) Food TripI pigged out yesterday. It started last Monday when I grabbed a can of preserved chilli squid in natural ink. I planned to eat that as my snack the next day, Tuesday. Yesterday, my lunch was adobong pusit (squid). I also ate the leftover for my snack. So, the can that I have is still unopened. ::: I lost one of my friendship bracelets. That wasn't given to me by anyone. I bought that a year ago. On my way to work, I noticed that one of my bracelets was about to fall off. I fixed it then realized that I was only wearing 3 from the original 4 that I ws wearing. ::: Thank you to my teammate, Drake, for the Black Eyed Peas and Dreamsound 3 copies. I knew it was a cd inside that gift wrapping. I just wondered why the case was thick. In my mind, it was an original cd (Kapal. Gusto pa ng orig.). There were actually two cds inside.
posted by Arn at 3:02 PM
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Sunday, January 01, 2006
 Thank You, 2005!
A yearender ispesyal.
::: My very first eRep excellence award was given January this year.
::: One of the accounts I was handling pulled out.
::: I was split skilled from three accounts to two then back to one account.
::: Most of my friends/teammates were transferred to another team/account then eventually resigned from the company :'(
::: When that (stated above) happened, quitting my job crossed my mind. But it never materialized (yebba!). I went back working on a night shift. My work schedule was weird. I log in at 12mn. Imagine how I survived those months going to work 3 hrs before my time to catch a ride, eat dinner and take a nap. From work (I log out at 9am, reach home by 12 noon), I settle to bed at past noon. Get up around 3 or 4 to eat lunch. Do my (wholesome) bathroom rituals then head to work. Five days of work in a graveyard shift plus a 3-4 hours of interrupted sleep was a real pain on the neck (kaw ba naman kulang sa tulog, eh). Every week, part of my dinner was dumpling rice.
::: I am now in our office building.
::: This (last) year, I was able to apply for a certain position. I was not hired for the job. But I still felt good about myself for that.
::: I had the mistake of having my hair cut. It took me at least a month to recover from that gruesome day. (Bawas sex appeal, eh. haha!)
::: I became more of a giver than a receiver this year. I've been stuggling just to make ends meet.
::: Honestly, I fell in love with the Philippines even more.
::: My nightlife? Nill. Nada. None. Almost. I do not really go out often. And I am fine with it.
::: Moving on has become one of my best points.
::: Doing the grocery has never been so fascinating.
 Christmas 2005 at my lola's house
 ** This was suppose to be my post for Dec 31st. Unfortunately, blogger kept on giving me error messages while attempting to save as this draft or publish this.
posted by Arn at 4:27 PM
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