Subject: Senti moments
(Forwarded email from my friend, Anne)
My personal take on this one is in italics.
TOO often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment,which is usually "happiness" right now. The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by willingness to accept the bad with the good do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile. I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single.
For most of us twenty something young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with its own set of expectations on how we should live life. The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way. In this article, I shall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single.
The Art of Contentment. For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment. Someday, I'm sure most of us will fall in love and get married. But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more handsome, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along. If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that and not cherish your chosen one. Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you're willing to see it through. It means you don't walk away every time things get tough because it builds in you patience, perseverance, understanding and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have. Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one. The art of contentment means you wouldn't mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.
Yes. Being single is a phase in my life just like childhood. I think this is the best part of my life to enjoy what I love to do alone (syempre, yung mga mabubuting bagay yun, a. Ano iniisip mo? :p ). Di ba kasi pag isa ka lang, e sarili mo lang ang iniisip mo. Di naman sa pagiging makasarili o self-centered pero kung may masaktan man, di ako naman siguro mandadamay ng iba. Kaya nga single. Although, some people who love me (Uyy!) might get hurt along the way. Pero iba din kasi yung degree ng sakit pag nasaktan ako tas romantically attached ako. Dalawa kaming masasaktan. Doble pa kasi dalawa kami. Masakit na sakin tas mas masasaktan pa ko kasi nasasaktan sya. Teka. Ba't puro sakit ang andito? Baka isipin nyo, a. I'm clean. Hehe.
Seriously, being single is not only the best training ground for me to practice "the art of contentment" but to mold myself to a better person as well. Sure, I would experience so many things... meet a whole new set of people, break relationships, choose a career, elevate my spiritual being, etc. Diversity. I would learn from that. I think it's about the smile on my face at the end of the day, before I rest myself to sleep. That would make me say that I'm single. I'm alone. But I'm not lonely.
A Time to Know Yourself Better. Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interests and passions without having to ask another person's approval. It is a phase when you can keep focus on other things, discover your potentials and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself to surprise you. Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you're still romantically unattached. It's all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, was alone.Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people. To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are.How do you expect other people to know you and to love you, when you don't know who and what you really are?
This I like. Though most of the time I always seek for approval, I do not really like asking permission to someone. Can I go out with my friends? Can I call you? Can I grow my hair? These stuff. More I don't like are the rules that are set to me by the one whom I choose to love. I mean, I have a mind of my own. Di ko na naman siguro kailangan ng isa pang nanay. Pero naisip ko din na sa isang relasyon, e dalawa na kami. Di lang ako. Probably, I am being selfish on this one. Anyway, I know there's so much more that I need to explore. And it would be better if I do it alone.
A Choice between Good and Best. Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it's between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you. Sometimes, you won't hear music, or feel magic to know who's best for you. The heart just knows and it doesn't need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you. Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for, because being single means our hearts have yet to choose the best one for us.
Sometimes, I choose something which would be good for me rather than the best there is. This applies on my decisions about almost everything. For what reason, I have yet to find out. Because having the best would really attract some people and make them envious afterwards. Definitely, that attention would really bother me. So, I would settle for that good choice. But of course, if I already have the best who am I to decline it.
I also think that the music and magic in love which people say they felt when they found love do not exactly happen in all of us. Sa dinami-dami ba naman ng tao sa mundo, e malamang na kahit isa naman dyan, e nakaramdam ng "luv" kahit walang music, magic, o yung kagaya ng sinasabi kong kuryente. Siguro, it's the romantic side of everyone that is pushing us to hope for that spark or that magical or romatic moment that would keep us smiling whenever we think about it. Then, of course, that "you take my breath away" and "sweep me off my feet" hirit would be next in line.
Almost a Non-committal. Jane Austen once wrote, that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man (or in our times a woman), in possession of a good fortune is in search of a spouse (just to be politically correct). Well, that was what the old school wanted us to believe in. Married life is a path most of us would take, however, it is not the only path there is. Relieve yourself of the pressure and stop making every single, straight guy friend a prospect. You have no business"entrapping" them and asking (which is more like "putting a gun in the head") them of their exclusive attention, if you're not ready for commitment yourself. Sometimes, when you spend too much time trying to find a boyfriend, you normally end up marrying the first loser who comes to yourdoor.
This qoute which reads, "sometimes, we end up in a situation we least to expect to be in." would probably best describe the paragraph above. Marami dyang playboy o playgirl nung kabataan nila. Pero nung tumanda, e single sila. Maybe, they didn't find who they are looking for. Their heart got tired, perhaps. Or they learned so many lessons, or experienced something bad, or promised to change but at the back of their minds, they are telling themselves that they are too old to fall in love (you know how some people dislike the site of older people dating or courting or PDA-ing.), or they are a single parent. In this time and age, the list of possibilities goes.
Pressure at this point? Me? I think just a bit. Two of my siblings had their own share of their love stories. But now they are both single again. So, no boyfriend and girlfriend are visiting them now in our home. Also, I have friends who are still single. Yep. We talk about romantic relationships and love interests and all. We even tease each other. Nag-testi pa nga yung isa kong barkadang babae sa isa kong barkadang lalaki na sana daw maging liberated na yung barkada kong lalaki para magka-girlfriend kasi only child lang daw sya at kailangan daw ng mama nya ng apo. Haha! With my friends in college, that's how we deal with single life. Labas-labas din kami pag may time. Beach. Movies. Yung pressure lang, e kasi I'm the eldest in the family. So, I should be the one to get married first. Baluktot na paniniwala, oo.
Take your time, the world will wait. Being married doesn't guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn't guarantee anything at all. Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable. Without the right intention, the emotional maturity, financial security and of course, unwavering love, you're better off unattached.
For me, without the whole, complete me when I marry, it would not be marriage at all. I know it would fail. It's not also taking chances everytime. I have to be secured. Yung tipong, o sige. May makakain ngayon. Pero bukas wala. O kaya, ok tayo ngayon. Bukas malay natin. Mas mainam na ok yung foundation ko sa sarili ko na I'm fine and I'm ready for this new chapter / phase of my life. Tas alam ko na ok din ang foundation namin sa relationship. Yes, marriage is not a guarantee for me to be at my happiest state in this life. Nothing is really guaranteed as far as I know. Change is everywhere. But working hard for something worth it is not a bad idea.
Living Life. Don't put your life on hold for Mr. Right but don't let it waste away with Mr. Wrong. Life is about things that you do and happen to you everyday. It's not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future. Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date. Allow life to surprise you with it's most wonderful blessings.
Ok. I would be your worst date. That's how I see me. I don't know. But I don't piss that much.I guess I'm surprising (Parang Penshoppe ad 'to, a). Siguro pinakamagandang sabihin, e I shouldn't be preoccuppied by so many things especially those concerning my personal life. Baka tumanda lang ako. Hinay-hinay lang. Di naman sa mahina ang kalaban, pero mas madami pang mga bagay na mas kaaya-aya at mas may maidudulot na magandang bunga. Like... photography? Hmm (Off Topic: Sorry. I'm planning to checkout the Quiapo area sometime for those second hand cams.)
Let me qoute the line that I like best in this article... "I am blessed with the gift of being single."
Cheers to all the SINGLES out there!
posted by Arn 
at 1:13 PM
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