02.16.06 Thur
11:34pm
Again, at my original workstation
LSS: Tender Love - OJ Mariano
Two Days Past V-Day
After going to our town proper, I just stayed in my room on that day playing music.
My song compilation never fails to soothe me. Youn know one of those laidback afternoons doing nothing but lounging on bed while holding the remote control of the boombox. Think things over. Switch on and off the fan. Sing along with some... ok, with almost all, of the songs...
I had some thoughts in my mind about love. Oh, I think this would be one of my corniest and cheesiest. I know most of us do not deal with this topic with anybody else just like sex talks with our parents. We talk about "sensitive" and more personal matters to people whom we feel comfortable with discussing these things. But hey I am only here for love part and not the sex part, ok? Before I begin, let's say this altogether, "cheeeeeeezzyyyy!"
* It is hard to reject someone. Much harder to reciprocate the (same level of) feeling shown by someone.
* It is difficult to be sane and in love at the same time.
* Old school love is sweeter
* Romance is sometimes a hype which makes it boring.
* As much as a person wants to avoid reminiscing, songs bring back something that we might have not think about for a long time.
Random Thoughts
Since it was pay day yesterday, I bought a malt and oat loaf from Le Couer de France. It's for P73 per loaf. And you may have it sliced.
A note left at the handle of a stairway leading to the mrt, "Wet Paint, Bagong Pintura." I wonder if the second part was a translation or just another warning written in Tagalog.
Another weird note in Subway, Glorietta, "(Strictly) No Sharing of drinks."
I just received 3 chocolate bars (Goldiona's Original Swiss Chocolate Bitter sweet, Milk Chocolate and Milk Chocolate with Hazelnut) from my teammate, Lei.
Nakakatawa yung janitor dito sa office nung Linggo. Bumibida sa kwentuhan sa mga kasama nya. Madami na daw siyang na-pick up sa food court ng isang mall. Basta daw ilibre mo lang ng lunch yung babae. Paglingon ko, eh masasabi kong pede mo nga siyang i-date kung halloween party ang pupuntahan mo. Masyadong pabilib magkwento. Lakas.
02.17.06 Fri
8:29am
Again, at the loneliest workstation there is
Song: Army - Ben Folds Five
Here goes one sad news to another. Death and resignation. Synonymous. The end.
From these two, I have some things that I want to ask myself. Things that I keep on asking when same situations as above transpire. Questions that I also keep on thinking and asking with and/or without resolving.
Several deaths of youngsters somehow made me think about life a little deeper than the way I use to. Fellow Thomasian, Rudyard, was killed inside an fx taxi through holdup. Another Thomsian Nursing student was also killed while walking outside the school premises by a holdupper. He was with his girlfriend that moment. Redor, an elementary classmate's brother, was killed in a misunderstanding during a gimik night in Malate. The son of Mr. and Mrs. Escudero who also lost his life from roccers. Cliff, an officemate, just got killed last Monday through holdup also. These are all men yet they were not able to defend themselves and save their lives. In street crimes, except rape, the usual victim are men. Men who eventually lose their lives. Probably because there would really be a conflict then a struggle on who would be outdone between two men - the victim trying to escape danger and the robber trying to overpower the victim.
These young men are... young. We might not know what dreams they still have to fulfill for their own resolve. Definitely, for their families and future families as well. Imagine the loss their loved ones have/had. Think about the the things they could've offered to society. One dreamy lad already knows where he should stand and what he should hold unto. Realize how they might'be saved somebody else's life.
My teammate, Lei, asked me if I regret not talking to Cliff since I was already introduced to him by Denise, another officemate. (I met Denise through the UST thread in PEx. Then, we realized that we are working in the same company and we are using same last name. She has this belief that they are "destined" for each other because of our last names. *incest!* Hehe.)
Not really regret but the idea of befriending the person who also has the same last name as me and Denise. He's already friends with Denise before I was to her. Not necessarily friends as the one you eat lunch with or smoke with. Even just a simple nod or smile whenever you see each other was alright. It's good to know more people in the office. If we were friends, I could've introduced him to Lei (Ehem!). I think this teammate would've liked that. :p (This happened to me alot of times already. I let good things pass by me. When it is too late, I would realize those what have been's and could have been's.)
One of my most ambitious dreams is to be friends with at least a quarter of the world's population. My friend, Bryan, said that it is impossible. I told him that my dream is an exaggeration but it may be possible. It is the mystery of each person that interests me. Like their quietness or loudness, simplicity and extravagance and all that range. It's how they deal with their own lives and how they get through each day.
How would I be friends with the rest of the world if I am shy? More often than not, I let that opportunity pass. When a friend introduces somebody new, I talk to the person in that moment. The only problem with me is how to retain that courage to talk to a new person once we see each other again. Like how I'm going to start by telling the person that I was the one introduced by this friend of ours or I was the one you met at this gathering. It's awkward. I am not the friendliest. All I tell myself is that there's always next time. But that next time would lead to another next time til that next time would be indefinite.
I always imagine myself as a bit likeable. That I don't piss that much. And that most of my friends' friends intriduced to me would like me to be part of their group or something. Of course, again, I have this wall of shyness that pushes me away from my supposed new found friends. If only my friends in college would re-introduce me to their friends from other colleges, I would ask some questions to know them better and not just a mere "friend-of-a-friend" case.
I love people. I always love people and always will. They inspire me to wonder about important things in life.
My second sad news: my supervisor is resigning (soon, a teammate).
Surprise. Of all the people, I never thought about that decision. Not this early. But I feel that the reason defines it.
My first ever supervisor/mentor was gone. Another one has been promoted to another account. others handle new ones. The last is about to leave. Almost all of my teammates had been out also.
Reaction.
It is/was sad.
New adjustments. New beginnings.
A couple of months from now would be the 1st year of our most dreaded day because of the rumbles that happened. I considered resigning from work also because of certain pressure, struggle, vagueness and strangeness. I thought that would be the best option for me. Good thing I didn't. I went on and convinced myself that I could go through it all. And I did.
See, I was hopeless and deeply affected by random movements. In a flash, I instantly missed everything from day 1 at work to that same day when I was ending my shift.
By the end of the month, we would be losing another veteran and original member of the team. It is appeasing to know that there is someone within the team who knows you because you've been in the same team since the start.
I undestand that this career is not forever. That career paths and moves gradually change.
I just pray that all my former teammates who are already working in another/same industry, company, living in another country, schooling and figuring out on what to do next would be successful in God's time.
******************
Mayamang edukado na walang common sense
Dalawang tagpo sa elevator ng gusaling kinakainan ko ng pananghalian.
Pababa ang elevator. May lima na yatang sakay nang pindutin ko ang down para mahabol ko pa at bumukas ang pinto nung pababang elevator na yun.
May dalawang babae na nasa may kanan ko na walang patid ang pag-irap. Kasi pagkatapos ko ay may humabol pa para pumasok sa elevator. Nang may bumaba sa basement, inirapan din ng magkaibigan ito yung 2 mamang bumaba na animo'y walang karapatang pindutin ng mama door close at open.
Next stop, basement ulit. Ako at yung isang mama yung bumaba. May nagsipasukan matapos akong bumaba. Ang natitirang nakapindot na lang dun sa mga dial ng elevator ay 3/F. Kundi ba naman tanga yung 2 babae na nagmamadali. Eh, ba't sa down sila sumakay at hindi dun sa up.
Pagkatapos kung kumain...
Pataas na elevator. May mga nakasabay din akong mga tao na nag-aabang. May isang grupo ng isang lalaki at tatlong babae na medyo may edad nang naghihintay din. Sosyal at pa-english-english pa. Eh, di may bumaba sa ibang basement na nahintuan. Alam kong masamang makinig sa usapan ng iba pero pag nasa elevator ka ay madidinig mo din iyon gustuhin mo man o hindi.
May pinipintasan yung grupo ng mga matatanda. Nadinig ko ang mga salitang dumbass at mukhang katulong.
Sa ground floor ang baba ko. Sa ground floor din pala sila. Kaso ako alam ko na pag sa ground floor, sa kabilang side bubukas yung pinto ng elevator. Kaya ako nakalabas na, sila naghihintay pa din na bumukas yung side kung saan sila nakaharap. Nagrereklamo pa yung isang babae na ang tagal daw bumukas.
Sarap pagtawanan ng harapan yung ganitong klaseng mga tao na ang ugali ay di mo alam kung san namana at yung akala mo kung sino sila.
02.18.06 Sat
1:24pm
avoiding talks with some senseless teammates who, I guess, need a little attention from their parents
Music : Hold On For One More Day - Wilson Philips
Another supervisor would be leaving the account where I am in to add another "feather" to her cap. This would be good for her since she would be exposed to another field.
It would just be hard to go on each day knowing that the habit of seeing and greeting everyone would be lessened. There would be more vacant seats. It would also be hard since we all are so used in dealing with each other each day at work.
I do hope that better things are just a seat away.
02.19.06 Sun
7:26am
Music: Melt With You - OST Fifty First Dates
May nabasa ko nun sa kung saan tungkol sa pamimigay ng flyers/brochures sa kalye mall o kung saan mang lugar na matao. Di ko matandaan yung saktong sinabi sa Ingles, eh. Pero parang sinabi dun na pag namigay ka ng flyers, parang sinabi mo na din sa taong pinagbigyan mo nito na PAKItapon yung papel na yun.
Tingin ko naman, interesado ding malaman ng taong kumuha ng flyer kung anuman yung nakasulat dun kaya kinuha din nya. Yung oras pa lang na tinignan mo yung nagbibigay at kung ano ang ipinamimigay niya ay senyales na na interesado kang malaman kung ano yung nasa ipinamimigay nya.
Pag iniisip ko, ang hirap ng ganung trabaho. Ngingiti ka sa tao habang inaabutan ng flyer. Minsan di ka papansinin, lalampasan ka, mababangga, iirapan at lolokohin pa kung minalas-malas ka pa.
Wala lang. Naisip ko lang kung ano kaya ang pakiramdam na ganun ang kinabubuhay ng tao araw-araw maski na marangal ito.
posted by Arn 
at 2:20 PM
|
<< Home