What Have I Done To You Lately?
05.11.07 Fri
Music: Summersong - Silent Sanctuary
You know I will never leave you.
But due to a major change in my job, it is with heavy heart to even spend at least five minutes with you. Worse, even look at you from the last time I loved you. But I never changed. I never will.
I will still blog. =)
At last. I will lay my hands to you again. Even for just a short time ('cos my draft is a notepad, that is why.)
It has been almost four months, eh? I knew that my busy schedule will affect my daily habit. Yes, I remember that I post everyday. You know, I finished my job early that is why I treasure this last 30 minutes of my shift. And I really told myself to spend it writing about something.
Some of my friends here at work asked me to update my posts. Perhaps, my other friends and those who lurk thought that I have given up my blog because I got tired of it. Not. I have considered it as an outlet especially for my work now.
Anyway, let me start on the month where I had no post. Oops. That would be February, March, April and May. Okay.
Feb. - As I officially started my new role, one bigger event happened not just to me but to my family. My eldest half brother died. It was a complication on the lungs. The specifics, I don't know. We hardly talked. We cared for each other but not as much as how the image of brothers should be.
Honeslty, I felt nothing when I learned the news. It was Feb 16, Friday. That time I was in the PM shift. I went home at around 2AM of that date. My other elder btother informed me that the eldest in our family was brought to the hospital. I thought everything would be okay. But I was awakened by some noise coming from our living room. Some where talking about cleaning the house and moving this and that cabinet. Then, the furnitures rolled on the floor.
His remains were brought to the house at around 8AM. But I have to leave for work. Yes, you heard me. I still went to work. I had loads of things to finish. I have no one to leave my responsiblities to. As a matter of fact, I didn't go home that day I went to work. Yes, I finished some things until past midnight. That was technically Feb. 17.
The day went I felt he was gone was on the last day of the wake, Saturday night. There were lots of people in our house. The brother I thought that was no good was loved by many.
No drama. But I cried during his internment. And I was the only one wearing black. Most of my family members were in white. Well, I do not have a white shirt. But I would have preferred something white on that hot afternoon.
I felt relieved, to be honest again. At least, everytime I am away from home, I will worry no more on what might be happening inside the house. I do not want to enumerate here our differences. I think some space in my blog about my take on him has been consumed. I just think that he should be happier to where he is now. And I think he had a shared the important minutes of his life before he died with his youngest sibling.
May he rest in peace. Amen.
Outro:
I would try to be more diligent at work to finish everything and blog something (at least once a week).
If you still have more time, here are some posts that are sleeping in this notepad. They will not be drafts anymore as I will post them now.
Look. Look.
The Cycle
02.23.07 Fri
Music: Ligaya - Eraserheads
9:04pm
I think I've been gone from the blogging world for a month now.
No updates on my site. Moreso, no updates from my friends. Yep. My name is now spelled B-U-S-Y.
As much as I do not want to say this, I have been promoted already. Next week is my first monthsary (Uhm, is this the right term for this?) in this positon.
But I had some realizations from the day...
Continued...
02.26.7 Mon
9:25pm
Music: Silent Santuary's single (forgot the title)
...I was hired on this job level I am in.
I am now more familiar with stress. My reports are due on the first day of my work week. In today's case, today. But I've done all four. So, four out of four are finished. On excess periods, some job-related whathaveyous are next. To lessen my responsibilities on the succeeding days, I see my spare time as an opportunity to do things in advance. But that might be stress with more 'ssssss' on its tail. Well, I think it'll be the case for now 'cos I am coping with this new phase of my life. On my first week, it took me more than half of my shift to finish one report. Now, I can finish four in about a little over 3 hours. I think I am turning stress into something useful. Like I demand myself now of time management. There's stress. My back aches. My neck aches. But I still look young. Beat that.
From the capital 'S', let's go now to 'T'. I miss tv so badly. I miss primetime shows and late night news and current events-related shows. This means I have to find more ways than the free newspaper on MRT stations to gather some bits and pieces of the world around me.
Hmm, I didn't notice that my realizations came in alphabetical order. But it is good that they only started on the latter part of it.
Done with 'T'. Now came...'U'. Cheezy. I miss u. I miss ya. I miss you. U, I miss. Ya, I miss. You, I miss. 'Nuff said.
Labels: Family Affair
posted by Arn 
at 12:02 AM
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