Round 1 : The Challenge
6:01PM
Music: September -EW&F
Time to re-assess myself again, professionally.
Nope. And I am not talking about my self evaluation form that I am trying to fill up. But this should concern something bigger than that.
I have again applied for a little higher position. As last year, I am again not expecting anything. But I am sure surely giving a good competition those those who sent their intent. Oops. A couple are my friends. And the three of us just laugh about our interest. Not that laughing about someone's dreams and career move but the fact that we are trying again.
Perhaps, we have this vibe of uncertainty. Well, I do. Not that as strong as my will to help my team. I have always loved, and always will, this group.
Those "maybe's" and "what if's" running through my mind again. You might not understand if you're not in the same industry that I'm in.
I like how the way I control my schedule choice. For more than I year, I have lived as normal as the rest of the Filipino laborer out there (but not out there as in overseas).
You see, it is a big thing to me. To deprive myself with depression. Yes, I get very sad going home when the rest of you are perhaps on their sleep already. I can deal with late nights once or twice a week but maybe not for the rest of my work week. I may not see the things that I used to see in this schedule: late night news, bus ride chasing, street food vendors, morning sun, morning air, rush hour, k-drama, MRT passenger crush, free newspapers, hot lunch (more of late lunch) , etc. These may be pain in the arse but these make me tick. I also think that my mom would be in a sound sleep when I get home. She would be alone until I reach my place at around 2AM (That is if I would be THE one.).
But there is a requirement once promoted. Yes, I know that things will change because I will not work as a rep but something else.
I know I can do the job and meet the demands of it. I am thinking about the things outside this career move. I may be the best in that position. But will I still be the best outside, say as a friend or brother? I do not want to miss things out. I still have plans about things that I want to do after work. If I will be here 'til midnight, so how can I attend to some of my obligations if the people who are waiting for me are already sleeping? Someday, I will have a business. How can I attend to that business?
But let me think again. I will take each day one day at a time. Strategize. After work, I should be totally out from work. When in the office, first priority is work. After shift, I should place work somewhere in the middle of my list to do other things. You think that's healthy enough, right?
Okay, yes. I am up for it. Let's see if this will sweep me hard or I am just traumatizing myself with too much thinking.
Good luck to me on Tuesday. (Also to my other teammates who'll be up.)
Labels: Pro Me
posted by Arn 
at 6:27 PM
|
<< Home