Smores : Graham Crackers, Marshmallows and Chocolate
03.15.06 Wed
1:29pm
Music: If The Feeling Is Gone - Ella Mae Sayson
I would start by greeting my friends/college classmates a very, very happy birthday. Your dates slipped my mind. I also do not have any text load. Hopefully, you would know that I am always thinking about college all the time. So, belated or advanced, as the case maybe, happy birthday to them:
March:
Xixa - 1; chiela - 1; JR - 5; Fatima - 12; Otep - 14; Eug - 15; Rhia - 16; Gaux - 28; Ronald - 28; Regan - 31
April
Ac - 11
Ted (my bro) - 29
******************
03.16.06 Thur
8:06am
Music: Maybe - Up Dharma Down
Most likely I am changing my schedule two weeks from now. Though it would break my heart for not coming to work on a Saturday, I must keep my promise. That is I would agree for a permanent schedule swap with a teammate any time she changes her mind. The results of the shift bid ranking shook almost all of us since we kept strictness to obtain the best metrics and ranking. I might be starting an 11am shift before this month ends. (I would miss Saturdays.)
Anyway, I see to it to drop by the Greenbelt chapel after my shift on the first day of my work week. I was already a little sad yesterday. Change is something that takes time for me to sink in. Hence, adjustment. (I would miss Saturdays.)
I prayed for some things. Regarding my work, I asked for the next shift bid to drop the soonest and for us to be back to our loved stations. Being on the other side of the building is quite uncomfortable to me. There are a lot of people. The restroom is a bit small than the one that we have been using. Plus our location is a bit off. But I have this feeling that we would be back in our original stations. (I would miss Saturdays in our original stations.)
Actually, I've made several requests. Not too many but for that prayer, my requests were still quantifiable by one hand. I was asking for signs for certain matters. Kinda corny, maybe. Signs. But signs work for me. After getting up from the pew, a stayed inside the chapel for a few minutes looking at the altar and the people inside. A small Pipit bird went in and stayed at the bottom of the big cross in the altar. Then, it chirpped once before it flew. I would take that sound as a yes. One of my prayers has been answered. A simple prayer yet it was answered by that sign instantly.
After, I saw a middle-aged lady in her wheelchair. I think she was with her sister and her private nurse. She was beautiful. She looked foreign. She was seated in front. She looked a bit ill but she seemed happy. Closed fist, she was looking at the altar. Should she be praying for somebody or asking for something?
Right after praying, I headed on music tripping. I listened to a number of CDs. I tried Up Dharma Down's Fragmented, Orange and Lemons' Land of Rubber Shoes and Dirty Ice Cream (forgot the full title), Sitti's, Kamikazee's Maharot and Itchyworms' Noontime Show. I bought Up Dharma Down's later. Unfortunately, I had only listened to at least 5 songs from their album.
It was passed 5pm when I stepped out Music 1. Usually, by this time I am already in the bus waiting for more passengers to fill in the seats.
The narra trees are now in full green. Though it was almost night time when I was walking by, still its green leaves and yellow flowers were visible. I could even smell the leaves and flowers as night time creeps in with its cold breeze. Good thing no drizzle yesterday. A few months ago, those narra trees that I pass by had shed all its beauty (Not that trees aren't beautiful if they do not have leaves. Even driftwoods have a certain character.) . Should be the season. Now, they are ready for summer. (When I start my new shift, I would definitely be seeing more of them. This time when the sun is up and its light would enhance the glow of its greens as the wind cools down earth while the yellow flowers fall and scatter my walk. Must capture this by phone. But for sure, a week with a Saturday is different.)
A couple of minutes before I reached home, a firefly crossed by me. The pathway I walk in is not well lit. Once there is spark, I would notice. I thought of catching it and giving it later to my niece. But I didn't. My niece would just crush the poor firefly, I thought.
On the lighter note, I've already filled my tummy with Kool Aid Strawberry. I could barely remember when was the last time I tried this juice drink. Next time, I would get grapes. And Sunsilk Summer Fresh has a cooling effect. I have used it twice already. I need not use any conditioner which is good. I am still loyal to Head&Shoulder's, though.
******************
03.18.06 Sat
8:46am
Music: Narda - Kamikazee
The sun was an early riser this morning.
I was hurrying as soon as I got up. Well, I woke up 46 minutes after I turned off my alarm. So, I guess I deserved all that cramming. Two minutes after five, I finally headed to the street to get a ride. And was it difficult to wait since it was 1.) a laidback Saturday morning; 2.) already late as per my regular waiting time so I wasn't able to catch the bus; 3.) hard to assume that the fx taxi would not stop and pick up more passengers; and 4.) me who was undecided if I should take the fx or wait for the bus. Okay, blame me. I was just avoiding bus stops/fx terminals for these vehicles to stop for a while and wait for passengers. I was in a hurry.
Decision making after I dropped off the train. I was already 6:36am in my phone. By this time, I am walking my way to the office already. But this time, I was still going down the stairs at the train station. I was thinking of either walking, which would mean doubling if possible tripling my time stridding in the walkway, or taking a cab to make it before my shift starts. What the heck. I know I could beat a cab through walking fast. Plus 50 bucks could already buy a kilo of sugar and I would still have a change. I walked fast... faster... fastest. Nine minutes before my shift begins, I was already here. Yey.
Anyway, my post would not be about my morning struggle going to work. This would sound stressful. This would be something about spending time. Just spending time as it is. Read on.
I remember yesterday.. haha! No. That was the line of a song from a milk commercial. It was in our former building where I began to think about what Jun, one of my former teammates, told me. He's already a family man so he would really sound like a dad when he plants advise and opinions.
These are not Jun's exact words but it went, "Arnold, mag-enjoy ka naman. Ano naman gagawin mo sa pera mo?.. (Arnold, try to enjoy yourself. What would you do to your money?..)"
First things first, people. I do not have lots of money. Like you, I save. I think that should be the case of everybody else. When Jun said that, I think I was already more than a year in our company. I look boring, I know. I look lifeless. I look uninteresting. Perhaps because I am silent. I am passive.
I do not go out every so often. I do not party every weekend. I go out on dinners not on a regular basis. Perhaps, I am not a fan of nightlife. Nightlife already bored me.
When I was in high school, I already delighted myself with it. You know those cheap parties held in a small compound or basketball courts in barrios when its fiesta or Valentine's day or Holloween or Graduation season. Party organizers, usually baranggay youth officials, always come out with fund-raiser parties that time. I would have to shed 30 bucks for the entrance fee and I am all set. Sponsor tickets cost around a hundred to 2 hundred bucks. And these tickets would also mean free food for the ticket holder (Consumable ba tawag dun?). And anybody may enter after passing through security check. My friends' moms even bring their grand children there. It was sort of like a street dancing but held in a closed area with an entrance fee. There were good music and good dancers. But most of the faces that you would notice are the ones you might have seen in shanties or railroads or in your ride holding the wheel and not the yuppies you see hanging out in Makati. So, there. Cheap entertainment. Nothing wrong but dangerous. It was a usual sight that the after party is not only having congee (uy, sosyal.. lugaw) but also rumbles specifically frat wars.
I was happy that I never got hurt. I told you that I look uninteresting and passive, so I never had a fist land on my jaw. Maybe I look harmless. There were security checks but I would see knives, aseros (improvised tool worn on the fist for a more painful jab), steel pipes, wood and big stones. Good thing, party scenes in barrios are already a prohibited because they only trigger group fights. (I think we all understand that in parties, a certain group must standout be it on clothes or the people we hang out whom we think are the coolest or hottest.)
I think I stopped enjoying myself these days. At young age, I already experienced what I should have experienced in my age now. This age should be the time I should go partying. But I am bored of parties already. I would still dance once I'm in a club. I would still be tireless. But I would not have the same hotness and coolness in me. (I'm not hot and I am not cool. I am neither.)
I spent all my time with my friends before. Now, I am keeping my time for myself. I barely hangout with them anymore. Drinking and having talks all about them bore me. Plus, my group is not a mix. Most of them have the same traits. I want diveristy. We also do not have female friends which make the group more boring. Hmm, I feel I need to have new friends. :)
Btw, it's nature trips and road trips that I enjoy. So, I am patiently waiting for my brothers to graduate so I could start travelling the archipelago. Getting myself a reliable digicam and a multi-programmed pc would complete my journey. So, help me God.
I forgot. Before I started the post above, I looked around the stations here for the copy of the newspaper I brought yesterday. I was supposed to post yesterday about the morning prayer in that paper. That prayer's just below this:
"Lord, I am grateful that humility does not mean belittling myself, but forgetting myself. How freeing it is when I don't need to call attention to myself! Those who are not self-conscious, those who forget themselves, are always the ones who love the most, serve the most, and laugh the most. Make me like them --- forgetting myself, and loving, serving, and laughing. In Jesus' name. Amen. (PAW)" --- Inquirer Libre, Vol.5 No. 76, Friday, March 17, 2006
I guess, I need not go further.
Reflect.
It's Lent. (not only because)
******************
03.19.06 Sun
7:15am
Music: Bilanggo - Rizal Underground
I am still trying to finish listening to all the songs of Up Dharma Down. But I am always too tired from work so I fall asleep. Hopefully tomorrow, I would be able to listen to the remaining three songs that I haven't listened to. I would also observe the songs' lyrics since in their inlay, some songs do not have a copy of their lyrics.
Anyway, below are some of the things I've noticed yesterday (as I was crossing a street heading back to the office after taking my lunch) and today (as I boarded the bus and walked by Ayala).
1. A doctor from the hospital beside the office bought his lunch from the carinderia where I've eaten. He was in his white blazer and a stethoscope was around his neck. From all those white robes, medical practices that make them gods and fancy M.D. titles after their names, that scene made them more human.
2. As I was crossing the street, another doctor was also crossing the other end. He came out from a drug store. He picked something from his pocket. And he came up with a small plastic in it. He then secretly dropped it on the street as he passed. Not an environment-friendly doctor, eh?
3. I was already in front of this drugstore when mom and her daugther was trying to cross the street. She never held her daugter and let her child cross alone. It was a Saturday afternoon, so less cars usually passby that area. Her mom was reminding her to look to her left then to her right while crossing tne street. The daughter followed. Realization that basic things we always learn in young age popped in. Parents are our first teachers.
4. I hate smokers puffing their hearts off inside public utility vehicles.
5. As I turned in one of the streets in Ayala, 2 couples were having there lovers' quarrel. Both looked like they were in the mid-40's. I accidentally heard a bit of their conversation because their voices were a little loud. The man went, "Oo, eh yung asawa ko... (Yes, but my wife..)" The lady replied, "'Wag ka nang magpaliwanag...(Do not explain anymore.)" And it felt like a movie scene with those dialogues and blocking. The man was behind the woman while the woman was turning her back on him. As I sense, those lines that I've heard had something to do with playing with fire. Issue.
posted by Arn 
at 12:49 PM
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