Of Sand and Waves
** It's July 16, Saturday. This is my supposedly entry for today. But
blogger.com is blocked and the proxy settings we're using is
mysteriously gone. Candy asked me to drag the proxy icon and transfer
it to another folder. I dragged it. I don't know what happened next.
It just disappeared. I never hit the delete button, ok. Why would I
delete our "source of life" especially during downtime? Oh, well. I
better check where it is now. But I could not do it alone. Teammates,
I need your help. Let's help each other looking for IT for a better
(source of) life. Haha!
Most likely, this post would be published by next week since I need to
send this to myself via my gmail account. After that, I need to go to
the nearest net cafe and start typing my entry.
You might get a little confused of the dates.
My title shows how excited I am for my trip this coming Sunday. But I
am not spilling anything about it for today. I do not want to spoil
that excitement. That entry would be in another post. And promise that
I would not be selfish to share some pictures.
On with my post...
We know how the waves change the sand. I am not trying to be deep
(like the sea. Oh, I'm deep now. Haha!). I just made an analogy about
the waves and sand with regards to a person and the environment.
I arrived at ur house at around 9:30 in the evening yesterday. My mom
was, of course, not yet home and was still in my grandmother's house.
Since my mom retired from her job, she has been staying with my lola
almost everyday. From 5pm til around 11pm. She arrives home usually at
11:30pm. Really late but she said she feels safer going home this late
because there are still many passengers inside the jeepney compared to
going home early. Perhaps, more people today go home late. My mom said
she already manage to conquer her fear of going home late. She made
herself stonger when she lost her husband, my dad. Change.
So, I took the keys of my mom's room from my elder brother. He is, by the
way, in his own house with his own family. I already knew that my
eldest brother was in the living room watching tv. Our window was open
that's why I saw him. I tried to open our front door but it was
locked. So, he opened that for me. I pushed the door gently (take
note: gently) but I did not close it. I went straight to my mom's room
and open it. I was hungry so I needed to check what I have for dinner.
Yes. There is a small refigerator in my mom's room. We do not use the
big one that we have because it consumed almost 3/4 of our past
electric bills.
He was the one who closed the door. After a few minutes, my eldest brother walked away and left the tv open.
See. I am not close to him and never will be. I just pass by him
whenever I see him. I do not recall any good moments with him. Not
even a conversation or a dinner on the dining table. I do not eat with
him in our dining area, as a matter of fact.
After he's hurt everyone in the family, I started hating him. We are
his half siblings. Even us, he hurt so much. I wanted him to respect
the fact that we are not fully and directly connected. So, why
include us in his so called angsts? It is not a requirement to be cool and ok and good with my
half siblings. They have their own life. We have us. Do not get me
wrong. I take our bond with our half siblings a blessing. It is a good
feeling that we are ok and we talk about things about life like any
other brothers and sisters do. of course, I am not crossing out the
eldest among us, but he seemed to be really alienated. Some still
talks to him even my mom. But most just try to manage their own family
and own life to avoid the hurt. I am speaking for myself. I am not
talking to him. Before I tend to give one chance after the other. But
now I feel numb. I am civil towards him. But do not expect me to have
this affection we usually give to our family members and relatives.
Change.
I packed my things for my trip tomorrow morning, July 17th. After
eating my dinner, I sorted the things that I would bring while waiting
for the water to fill up the palangga (a laundrymate used during
soaking, soaping and rinsing clothes when one opts to do the handwash
method) I placed outside. I always try to check if all the possible
water containers are filled before I sleep just incase no water comes
out from the faucet tomorrow morning, at least we have some reserves.
I got my adidas (Sorry. I have to mention the brands to specify things
not to brag.) travel bag which I've been using for the past 8 yrs. I
put a blue green towel inside. Then, my blue bench polo shirt with
this red, black, orange details across the chest (Now I am the
embodiment of my job. Teammates, I know you could also describe the
details of almost everything that smells cloth. Haha!). I also put my
blue beerkada shirt, the "I am lost in hong kong" shirt given to me by
Kookai and my cargo shorts inside. That cargo short is brandless since
i got that from SM dept store 8 yrs ago. Tagal na 'no? I even remember
buying that even it didn't fit. I think it's waist size is 34" and I
only wear size 28. But it's good. It's baggy and I realy like it. It
doesn't look worn out.
I went to my room and continued fixing my things. I placed the Softee
cotton buds, Band Aid ethyl alcohol, Band Aid checker strips, rubber
(What the hell are you thinking?) bands, some plastic bags for wet
clothes, Zest rainforest fresh, 4 sachets of head& shoulders and cream
silk blue (each), close up crystal pack, toothbrush, Balsem gosok
(parang katinko) and comb in the pocket. On the other pocket, I
putsome coins, Neozep non-drowsy, biogesic, diatabs and centrum
tablets. I added two basketball shorts, two sandos, 1 extra white
shirt, 4 undies and 2 boxer shorts inside the bag. I also took my
brother's slippers inside.
Sorry for being corny and specific. I am not brand conscious. You can
jump and skip that part of my post. Hehe!
I forgot. I met Cy at Super Bowl of China in Glorietta before going
home. He handed me the money that we would use for the trip. He would
be treating us since he just came back from Bahrain(?). Not sure.
I know when I tell my story to my college friends about my trip, they
would again tell me, "Pa-beach-beach ka na lang, ah." Most of them are
still in school finishing medicine, graduate studies, second degree.
Others just finished nursing. Probably they miss going to the beach or
going out with all of us complete just like our collegiate years. All
of us are not that updated anymore with what's happening with our own
lives since we seldom see each other because of certain circumstances.
This part of college is what I truly miss. Change.
I also forgot to mention that we had a meeting for our scheduled trip last Thursday, July 14th, in a certain coffee shop within the Gateway mall area. I was the very last one who arrived because my shift ends at 7pm. So, Jaja and Mayk were seated on one side. Cy, at last we saw him, was with his two college friends, Clark and Mark. So talked, joked a bit.
But in this coffee shop, one of my friends caught a couple having a quickie inside their restroom. They have money to buy that expensive coffee but they don't have any to get a motel room? Oh, come on. Doing it in public. Thrilling, wasn't it? Adventurous people nga naman. Changes.
Remember this post?
Well, I just saw her today at the pantry and she said hi to me with a
smile. I hold nothing against her personally. She seems to nice.
Probably, I need to know her better. I smiled back and asked her if it
was already her endshift. We just had a very small talk.
categorically, I think we are not friends. But who knows? Change.
A few seconds before I set foot on the pantry, as I pass by this
certain account, this girl caught my attention by telling me, "I like
your hair." And she said that with a nice, big smile. Of course, I
shied away and smiled (Was I blushing? Hmmm..). she was talking to
someone when she looked to my direction and said those words. Change.
(Change? Eh, asan ang pagbabago dito? Sagot: Kasi ngayon lang may
nagsabi sakin ng ganyan. Pano mukhang "mahangin ba sa labas?" ang
buhok ko palagi. Siguro mas madaming tao na ngayon ang
nakaka-appreciate maski na hindi sobrang tuwid ang buhok mo gaya ng sa
commercials. Si Jaja at Cy kasi sinabihan ako na magpa-hot oil at rebond daw ako. Ano ngayon? She likes my hair daw. :p)
On my way to work, my classmate back in high school was my fellow
passenger inside the fx taxi. I saw him waiting for a ride but he
didn't take the one that I'm in. The fx taxi that I was boarding was
caught by the LTO officer. So, I just transferred to another taxi.
When I was about to hop at the back part, I saw him sitting at the
middle area of the fx. Then, we had our conversation.
Chester (C): Oi... Long hair, a.
Ako (A): Ha? Hehe.
C: Bakit ka nagpa-long hair?
A: Lahat ng tao dun, eh long hair. Di, joke. Wala.
C: san ka ba ngayon?
A: sa call center. Ikaw?
C: Naglalaro.. JRU.
A: NCAA? Nag-aaral ka ulit?
C: oo. San ka?
A: Sa makati.
C: Eh, di talo ka pa sa pamasahe nyan?
A: ok lang. Hindi naman.
Silence. Tulog.
Bago bumaba, tinapik ko na lang siya sa balikat at sabi ko mauna na
ko. Di ko alam na bababa din pala siya sa mrt.
A: Di ba sa Pasig ka?
C: Shaw. Malaki sweldo mo? Siguro 20 no?
A: Hindi a. Starting 12 tas incentives. Regular, 15.
C: Nagbo-board ka ba? Ba't ang laki ng bag mo?
A: Hindi. May pupuntahan kasi kami, e.
C: Long hair, o. Ibang-iba ka na buhat sa Arnold na nakilala ko, a.
A: Ha? Uy, hindi, a.
C: Panoodin mo kami. Nood ka ng tv sa Biyernes, may laro kami.
A: Di na ko gaanong nakakanood ng tv, e. Yung sked ko kasi. Pero kung
sa Biyernes na to, makakanood ako kasi naka-leave ako.
Medyo nahuhuli kong maglakad kasi ang bigat ng bag ko.
C: Long hair, dali. Iba na talaga 'to o.
A: Hindi nga.
C: Ano ba sked mo?
A: 10-7.
C: Buti di ka panggabi tulad ng iba.
A: Dati panggabi ko. Ngayon lang ulit ako nalipat sa umaga.
Naghiwalay na kami kasi wala pa pala siyang ticket. Eh, meron na ko.
Sinabi ko na mauuna na ko.
* Basta ganyan yung flow nung usapan.
Natawa lang ako kasi iba nga itsura ko nung high school. Basta mas
jologs. Tsaka kasi tahimik din ako nun. Basta di ako kilala.
Kasi si Chester wala namang pinagbago. Matangkad pa din. Haha! Siguro
ang iniba lang nya, eh varsity player sya ngayon. Di naman siya
kagalingan nung high school. Di nga siya varsity player nun, eh.
Ngayon, talo pa nya yung mga varsity player namin nung high school
kasi siya naglalaro na sa NCAA. Dati di naman siya kilala na magaling
sa basketball kasi di ko napansin na na-train siya dun. Di ko din
akalain na maglalaro sya sa college. Change.
* Watch NCAA every Wednesday and Friday on Studio 23. The games
usually start at around 1-2pm. And some info on my former classmate?
Just checkout the games and look for someone from JRU with a towering
height and whose jersey reads Natividad at the back. I forgot to ask
for his jersey number, though.
Rewind. Yesterday, July 15th, I felt I was the hottest, most handsome,
most desirable and most lovable man alive. Sorry, but I'm shutting my
mouth about this one. It would be better to keep some things for
myself alone. But to my reader who seems to be intrigued: don't worry.
I am still a proud virgin ...Infant. Adolescence. Manhood. Change.
Changes are everywhere.
From blue jeans to faded.. black hair to grey.. green leaf to brown..
We all undergo the process. Most of the time, we are in a situation
where no other option is given but change.
Just like what the waves do to the sand, we are moved by the outside.
But sand is still sand no matter how strong or high the waves are. No
matter where the water brings the sand, it's still in it's form. No
matter how fast the sand is swept away, in it's proper time, it would
go back to where it came. Material. We.Human. We just have to go with
the waves. But our selves are still intact.
** This post was done before lunch time. Kala ko wala nang pagasa na makapag-post. Pero look what I found. Este, di nyo pala makikita kasi di naman kayo naka-log in sa pc namin dito. Haha! Eto na ang aking post. Kalimutan nyo na yung unang paragraph sa taas, uki.
Kantahan ko muna kayo bago ko umalis...
I'm going on a summer holiday... 
Edited : 07.16.05; 4:57 pm
Cancelled na daw yung trip namin bukas. Si Jaja, isa sa mga kasama namin, nag-retract na ng leave mula nung sinabihan sya na cancelled na. Haayy.. Just this morning I was writing about sand and waves and changes. May sand at waves pa kasi kong nalalaman, eh. Huhuhu!
Talk about Changes.
posted by Arn 
at 2:25 PM
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