Rain, rain..
It was a wet afternoon yesterday.
I wasn't able to take a good sleep during the afternoon before going to work. My niece's favorite past time was to cry (make that CRY in all caps, pls.) and my brother's house is being reconstructed. So, how would I get my much needed rest with all that sound bangging through my ears.
I just came back from 2 days of rest days and another 2 days of vacation leave. I think I already got that much needed rejuvination, restoration, replenishment, revival, reorganization, etc. When, I was trying to make myself comfortable lying on my bed; covering my face with pillow to block the light from outside; endless switching of the electric fan from number 1 to 2 then back to 1 then 2 again; reverse psychologizing myself that its's oh so quiet inside and outside our house, I decided to just go out of my room and drink coffee.
While I was sitting on our couch, I just noticed some things and gathered some thoughts. Hence, munimuni. It must've been the rain. It must've been my background music. (I was playing Paolo Santos' Wave Sessions 1 that cloudy, rainy afternoon.)
Out of nowhere, I just looked at my toes then, praised myself for maintaining their pinkish, virginal color, hehe. I always make it sure that my feet looks good. I do not go to foot spas or ask someone to clean my toes for me. I do the job myself. I clean my toes every week and I steel some drops of my sister's foot scrub.
I also looked at my arms. It's only now that I am growing hair on my arms. They are more noticable now. When I perspire, I would notice I the hair would stick on my arms which make them seem darker. While looking at my arms, I asked myself, "Sobrang late bloomer na nga ako di lang sa emotional pati rin pala sa physical. Parang halos lahat ng kakilala kong ka-age ko, eh may balahibo na sa braso pati pa nga sa muhka. Ba't ako ngayon lang?"
Then, I was looking around our house. It is already old. Twice my age, perhaps. But it still functions so well.
Our window is just right at my back, from where I was seated. The rain was much gentler.
I don't know what's with the rain and the cold wind and the people passing by. But whenever it rains, I am depressed. I am down. I am deep. I am in trance.
In a certain period of time, I am out of myself staring blankly at something or someone. And then, I would realize that it has been awhile since my eye last blinked. I would be thinking about my plan for the day. My mind would turn into a calculator computing how much should I save since I was about to shed a big amount for my brother's school fees. Imagining myself quitting my current job and bumming around would linger my mind. Even my country's socio-economic problems won't escape my mind. That's what rain does. Looney? I am not.
But I think it's healthy. To get depressed once in awhile brings out the inner me. I have made more than 30 poems. And most of them were done when it was raining. I think it's cleansing. Letting out some part of me alongside with the downfall from above. I mean, the heavens, well clouds, too need some cleansing, don't they?
Also, I associate the rain with something which is heavy (emotionally) such as burdens, problems, frustrations. Ok, I am killing myself with this one. But as I've mentioned, it sets me down. I know almost all could relate to me on this point.
Waking up late. Cuddling up with a hot coffee while watching tv during a rainy mid-morning. Sleeping again after or before eating lunch. Contemplating to take a bath or not. Sit on the couch again and watch the raindrops fall by the window. Everyone's moving so slow. Everyone doesn;t want to move at all and just stay where they are at the moment just to fall asleep again.
What I usually watch are the bubbles the raindrops make once they hit the ground. I also like how the water drips from one leaf to another. Birds who are struggling with their wet wings and strong wind are a site to see. Probably, they are still searching for some food for their loved ones left in their nest. Just like people, working rain or shine to make a living. How sad to think that I am only here to live my life to pay the bills, get recognitions, watch others succeed, make others feel better. I have rants, yes. But sometimes, they are best kept unknown, unsaid, understood.
When I was younger, I used to make paper boats. When I got tired of it, we made our improvised motor boat. Get an AA battery-operated motor/machine from a cheap toy car then, attach it to a used slipper. Design according to your fancy. And voila! Meron ka nang lantsa (motorboat).
My friends and I also used to bathe under the rain. Stories had it that it would take away your bungang araw (prickly heat/rashes). We usually hunt for tadpoles and play with them. And the main reason why we run half-naked on the streets when it's raining, play with the water. Not only mere rainwater but flood water. There's also mud throwing as an extra. So, we go home with a brownish underwear. I didn't mean to gross you out. We also played habulan, basketball and taguan with our wet shorts. I even managed to take a bath to this river cum garbage can/sewage system/laundromat/kitchen/bathroom nearby our house. But that's another gross story, hehe.
In college, I would consume the rain in my mind thinking about all the possible and impossible. Usually, I sleep insde the FX, or just watch the rain slide down my window. After class and it's time to go home, I spent some extra time just to make the rainfall a little lighter so I could run towards the nearest jeepney stop I don't really like bringing an umbrella.). Then, I get stranded no matter how fast or slow I get a ride. A few minutes plus a huge patience helped me get through when waiting for my turn to hop inside the FX taxi. The passengers were just seated on a long, narrow chair (bangko) and only covered by trapal, sako at kapirsong bubong. Then, out of boredom, I just tap my feet or hands, look at the people around or just stare blankly on what's in front of me. Life.
From my office window, the sun is still not there. It should've been shining by now. But I guess summer is finally over. And those black clouds would be all over me as I walk.
I am yet to get myself a summer getaway. But that's too close to impossible. I'l just embrace the up coming seaso. Spare the thunders, lightnings and floods. Welcome rainy days!
** When I was in first year high school, I was called to recite the song,
"Rain, rain go away
Come again another day
Little [name here] wants to play
rain, rain go away."
Then, my English teacher said with that grin and matching pailing-iling, "I asked you to just read it, not sing it." She, then, called my other classmate to read it again.
******************
Happy, happy birthday to my batchmate/teammate and friend, Anne (June 7th); work batchmate, Maine (2nd); grade school friend, Harold (1st); my cousin, Ryan (8th); and to my college friends, Anj (1st); Glen (4th); Annette (8th)!!!
posted by Arn 
at 6:43 AM
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